There's No Place Like Home

I have lived away from home for many years. Home is interpreted differently by all. Home for me is my childhood home, where my parents still live and where my brothers and most extended family still live nearby. There was a period of time when I couldn't wait to get out, and when I got out, I made myself very scarce. I guess, in a way, I regret that. Probably because I don't have the luxury of hopping in the car and being there in two hours.

Now it is a 16-hour drive for me to go home. Of course, there is always flying, but still, I'm beginning to really feel the distance. I don't know why. Is it because I no longer have the luxury of going any time I want? Is it because the older family members (parents, aunts, uncles) aren't getting any younger? Is it a feeling of being left out of the occasional family picnic? Is it guilt of not going more often when I lived so close? Or, perhaps I miss the "simpler" life?

Whatever it is, I dislike the feeling. I'm not looking for sympathy; I'm just trying to figure out why now, all of a sudden?

I recently received an invitation to hubby's cousin's bridal shower. Of course, I am not attending. But, fortunately, they jotted down the wedding date so we can start making some travel plans. At first, to be honest, I wasn't thrilled with the idea of getting together with his family. You know, the typical family nonsense. Then I realized I'm not involved in any of it, and I can overlook it anyway. Then I started getting excited at the idea I'll be seeing everyone is one fell swoop. THEN I looked at the calendar to realize she is getting married on a Saturday and my mother's birthday happens to be that Sunday. It will have to be a quick trip -- in on Friday night and out on Sunday night -- but, I'll be able to get visits in with both sides of the family.

I am looking forward to it, but I have to wait 3 1/2 long months. I don't know why I feel weird about being excited, but at least it's a good thing!!